@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导Myfatherisdeadalmost31years,andyet,inthisapology,theoneIhadtowriteforhim,Idiscoveredthepowerofanapologyandhowitactuallymightbethewaytomoveforwardinthecrisiswenowfacewithmenandallthewomentheyabuse.Apologyisasacredcommitment.Itrequirescompletehonesty.Itdemandsdeepself-interrogationandtime.Itcannotberushed.Idiscoveredanapologyhasfoursteps,and,ifyouwould,I'dliketotakeyouthroughthem.Thefirstisyouhavetosaywhat,indetail,youdid.Youraccountingcannotbevague."I'msorryifIhurtyou"or"I'msorryifIsexuallyabusedyou"doesn'tcutit.Youhavetosaywhatactuallyhappened."Icameintotheroominthemiddleofthenight,andIpulledyourunderpantsdown.""IbelittledyoubecauseIwasjealousofyouandIwantedyoutofeelless."Theliberationisinthedetails.Anapologyisaremembering.Itconnectsthepastwiththepresent.Itsaysthatwhatoccurredactuallydidoccur.Thesecondstepisyouhavetoaskyourselfwhy.Survivorsarehauntedbythewhy.Why?Whywouldmyfatherwanttosexuallyabusehiseldestdaughter?Whywouldhetakemyheadandsmashitagainstawall?Inmyfather'scase,hewasachildbornlongaftertheotherchildren.Hewasanaccidentthatbecame"themiracle."Hewasadoredandtreatedasthegoldenboy.Butadoration,itturnsout,isnotlove.Adorationisaprojectionofsomeone'sneedforyoutobeperfectontoyou.
