@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导Myfatherhadtoliveuptothisimpossibleideal,andsohewasneverallowedtobehimself.Hewasneverallowedtoexpresstendernessorvulnerability,curiosity,doubt.Hewasneverallowedtocry.Andsohewasforcedtopushallthosefeelingsunderground,andtheyeventuallymetastasized.ThosesuppressedfeelingslaterbecameShadowman,andhewasoutofcontrol,andheeventuallyunleashedhistorrentonme.Thethirdstepisyouhavetoopenyourheartandfeelwhatyourvictimfeltasyouwereabusingher.Youhavetoletyourheartbreak.Youhavetofeelthehorrorandbetrayalandthelong-termimpactsofyourabuseonyourvictim.Youhavetositwiththesufferingyouhavecaused.And,ofcourse,thefourthstepistakingresponsibilityforwhatyouhavedoneandmakingamends.So,whywouldanyonewanttogothroughsuchagruelingandhumblingprocess?Whywouldyouwanttoripyourselfopen?Becauseitistheonlythingthatwillsetyourselffree.Itistheonlythingthatwillsetyourvictimfree.Youdidn'tjustdestroyyourvictim.Youdestroyedyourself.Thereisnoonewhoenactsviolenceonanotherpersonwhodoesn'tsufferfromtheeffectsthemselves.Itcreatesanincrediblydarkandcontaminatingspirit,anditspreadsthroughoutyourentirelife.TheapologyIwrote--Ilearnedsomethingaboutadifferentlenswehavetolookthroughtounderstandtheproblemofmen'sviolencethatIandonebillionotherwomenhavesurvived.Weoftenturntopunishmentfirst.It'sourfirstinstinct,butactually,althoughpunishmentsometimesiseffective,onitsown,itisnotenough.
