@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导@翻了个译，MTI专业辅导Togettheclearestpictureoftheselives,wedon'tjustsendthemquestionnaires.Weinterviewthemintheirlivingrooms.Wegettheirmedicalrecordsfromtheirdoctors.Wedrawtheirblood,wescantheirbrains,wetalktotheirchildren.Wevideotapethemtalkingwiththeirwivesabouttheirdeepestconcerns.Andwhen,aboutadecadeago,wefinallyaskedthewivesiftheywouldjoinusasmembersofthestudy,manyofthewomensaid,"Youknow,it'sabouttime."Sowhathavewelearned?Whatarethelessonsthatcomefromthetensofthousandsofpagesofinformationthatwe'vegeneratedontheselives?Well,thelessonsaren'taboutwealthorfameorworkingharderandharder.Theclearestmessagethatwegetfromthis75-yearstudyisthis:Goodrelationshipskeepushappierandhealthier.Period.We'velearnedthreebiglessonsaboutrelationships.Thefirstisthatsocialconnectionsarereallygoodforus,andthatlonelinesskills.Itturnsoutthatpeoplewhoaremoresociallyconnectedtofamily,tofriends,tocommunity,arehappier,they'rephysicallyhealthier,andtheylivelongerthanpeoplewhoarelesswellconnected.Andtheexperienceoflonelinessturnsouttobetoxic.Peoplewhoaremoreisolatedthantheywanttobefromothersfindthattheyarelesshappy,theirhealthdeclinesearlierinmidlife,theirbrainfunctioningdeclinessoonerandtheyliveshorterlivesthanpeoplewhoarenotlonely.Andthesadfactisthatatanygiventime,morethanoneinfiveAmericanswillreportthatthey'relonely.Andweknowthatyoucanbelonelyinacrowdandyoucanbelonelyinamarriage,sothesecondbiglessonthatwelearnedisthatit'snotjustthenumberoffriendsyouhave,andit'snotwhetherornotyou'reinacommittedrelationship,butit'sthequalityofyourcloserelationshipsthatmatters.Itturnsoutthatlivinginthemidstofconflictisreallybadforourhealth.High-conflictmarriages,forexample,withoutmuchaffection,turnouttobeverybadforourhealth,perhapsworsethangettingdivorced.Andlivinginthemidstofgood,warmrelationshipsisprotective.Oncewehadfollowedourmenallthewayintotheir80s,wewantedtolookbackatthematmidlifeandtoseeifwecouldpredictwhowasgoingtogrowintoahappy,healthyoctogenarianandwhowasn't.Andwhenwegathered...
