2023年蕾切尔的婚礼 Rachel Getting Married 英文剧本.doc

蕾切尔的婚礼 Rachel Getting Married 英文剧本 I want my fucking Zippo now. Walter, that is a behavior that will get you... Fuck you! (CELL PHONE RINGING) Are you making a choice (CHUCKLES) Hold on. Hello Don't you get it yet, Waldo She's making a choice not to give you your lighter because you'll torch the self-help library again. My name's Walter. Did you kill anybody recently Did you run anybody over with your fucking car Is that them Yeah. Yes, finally. You're not going to let her drive, are you Walter, you are only responsible for yourself. This all your stuff Yeah. So you never gave me your cell phone number. It was a mistake. I'm lucky I didn't get fired. We've discussed this. Hey. Here you are. (SIGHING) I thought you were going to abandon me in rehab. (CHUCKLING) No. - It's 10:30. You're half an hour late. I was just standing out here with these lunatics. Oh, my God, you look so great. So do you, darling. Can I take care of that Hi, Paul Buchman. Rosa. We met last time you came up. Yes, hi. Good to see you again. - Hi. Okay, let's go. Let's go. All right. Sure. - Great. Um... Good luck to you. Thank you. Kym. Good luck to you. Thank you. All right. Hey, where is everybody Hey, Carol. - Hello, Kym. Where is everybody Where's Rachel Oh, she's back at the house getting ready. PAUL: There is so much going on at the house, I cannot tell you, dear. And you know your sister's doing everything herself. My sister's bending the environment to her will Really There's no wedding planners or anything like that. It's just her and Sidney and a whole lot of their friends. And she is so thrilled that you're coming home. Great. Now, do we have everything Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can we just go Is there somebody that... Anybody you need to say goodbye to God, no. So are all of these energetic, young wedding helpers staying at the house Because after nine months of constantly revolving cell mates and crazy people and... You weren't in a cell, Kym. What I was sort of looking forward to a little privacy for once. The only extra person at the house is Emma. Oh, oh! Rachel and Emma. - Yes. Good God, how relaxing. (ALL LAUGHING) The only two people on the planet less capable of delegating than Hannibal. On the eve of a wedding. Oh! Nachtmahr. Nachtmahr Nachtmahr. You don't know Nachtmahr Nachtmahr was a nightmare so bad it's in German. CAROL: I see. Rachel must be, like, totally freaking out. Is she too tense Are all of her latent food issues rearing their heads Is she still hoarding Snickers and Cool Whip under the bed like when she was in high school She never did put that one to rest. I don't think that's a problem for her, darling. No offense, Dad, but you never thought that was a problem for her. So I'm really looking forward to seeing Mom. You'll see your mom tonight and Andrew at the rehearsal dinner. Well, maybe I'll head over there, to her house, after I see Rachel. Well, I don't know. Can we pull over, please I'm sorry, I feel nauseous, and I need something to drink. CAROL: I have a Diet Coke for you. I prefer Pepsi from the fountain. Hey, didn't I see you on Cops Olive. KYM: Hey, there's Olive. PAUL: Rented chairs, tribes of people. Yep. (SIGHS) Hey, Dad, don't worry about it. I'll get it. PAUL: Got it. (MEN CHATTERING) PAUL: Hi, gentlemen. Hello. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Anyway, I'm sorry. I just saw a ghost. (CONTINUES CHATTERING) EMMA: Is this too short Oh, my God! You are just minute! Kymmie! Oh! Ow! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I have pins all over me. Yeah, I can feel. Kym, could you not smoke in here, please You look great. - Oh, no, I'm so fat. Well, rehab makes you fat. It's all the vending machines. No, stop it. - No, you! I would swear to God that you were puking again. EMMA: Hi, Kym. - Hi, Emma. Seriously, you're so tiny, it's like you're Asian. (BOTH LAUGH) (EXCLAIMS) So what's the deal Are you an actual shrink yet Even though you're like 12 years old. Rachel's taking psychology, not psychiatry. You know the difference, right You should prescribe something soothing for Emma, like Vicodin. I will have my PhD in a year and a half, and psychologists don't get prescription pads. I think they do in Guam, actually. Could you please put that out Emma designed this dress, and there's, like, 47 yards of fabric, and it's going to go up like the Hindenburg. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's going out. EMMA: Thank you, Kym. Angela Paylin is coming to the wedding. Angela Paylin is not coming. Really - Yeah. Oh, my God! I ate so much cookie dough and did so many whippits with Angela Paylin. I know. And she confessed to you her secret Elvis Stojko fantasy. How did you... EMMA: What RACHEL: I spied on you. - Elvis Stojko, the figure skater KYM: Oh, my God! She had this fantasy where she was wearing her hair up, and these very serious... - Very, very professional glasses because... - ...very serious.