第一篇：英语小幽默

Joke:Bill, AL and Bill

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.They're up in heaven, and God`s sitting on the great white throne.God addressed Al first.“Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replied, “Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used,the whole earth will become a

greenhouse and we`ll all die.” God thinks for a second and said, “Okay, I can live with that.Come and sit at my left.”

God then addresses Bill Clinton.“Bill, what do you believe in?”

Bill Clinton replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people.I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do.I also believe in feeling people`s pain.” God thinks for a second and says

“Okay, that sounds good.Come and sit at my right.”

God then address Bill Gates.“Bill Gates, what do you believe in?”

Bill Gates said, “I believe you`re in my chair.”

人之初：At the begining of life.性本善：Sex is good.性相近：Basically,all the sex are same.习相远：But it depends on how the way you do it.苟不教：If you do not practise all the time.性乃迁：Sex will leave you..教之道：The way of learning it

贵以专：is very important to make love with only one person.昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng

择邻处：chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.子不学：If you don't study hard,断机杼：Your Dick will become useless.窦燕山 Dou, the Famous

有义方 owned a very effective exciting medicine

教五子 All his five son took it

名俱扬 and their sexual ability were well-kown.养不教 If your children don't know how to do it,父之过 It is all your fault.教不严 If they had lots of problems with it,师之惰 their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex.子不学 You may refuse to study this

非所宜 but that is a real mistake

幼不学 If you don't learn it in childhood,老何为 you will lose your ability when aged

玉不琢 If you don't exercise your dick,不成器 It won't become hard and strong.人不学 If you don't learn sex,不知义 You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

Bush got something wrong with his brain.After medical examination, doctor tells him:

Your brain has two parts: one is left, and another is right.Your left brain has nothing right,Your right brain has nothing left.Old Man And Donkey

There was an old man, a boy and a donkey.They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride.As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such asmall boy walk.The two decided that maybe they both should walk.Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride.The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal.The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.The moral of the story is...if you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.

第二篇：英语小幽默

The father and his son

Father: You know, Tom.When Lincoln was your age,he was a very good student.In fact, he was thebest student in his class.Tom:Yes, father.I know that.But when he was your

age, he was President of the U.S.A.

第三篇：英语幽默小短文

英语幽默小短文

The Old Cat

An old woman had a cat.The cat was very old;she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old.One day the old cat saw a mouse;she jumped and caught the mouse.But she could not bite it;so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse.She began to hit the cat.The cat said, “Do not hit your old servant.I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old.Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young.”

第四篇：英语小幽默（热门46篇）

写写帮会员为你精心整理了46篇《英语小幽默》的范文，但愿对你的工作学习带来帮助，希望你能喜欢！

篇一：英语幽默小故事

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them.The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱

一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。

“为什么不捡?”

“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”

“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”

篇二：英语幽默小故事

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time.Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money.Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多

定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。

下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：

假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。

假设二：时间就是金钱。

每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)=。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识=。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱=。

因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。

结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。

篇三：英语幽默小故事

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing.The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to  some frustration among the three.Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over  to them.He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind!The aide thanks the three in appreciation for  their patience for the blind golfers.The priest goes, “Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about  the blind!” The therapist says, “I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on  me!” The economist says, “Oh no!They should be playing at night.”

他们本该在晚上打球

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他自我介绍说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

篇四：英语幽默小故事

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，“contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice.”Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。“354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:”354航班，西蒙说速与135.5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”

篇五：英语幽默小故事

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast.For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place.With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on  the highly technical lectures.After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, “You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself.” The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly.However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer.The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, “That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it.”

甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题

一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。

司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”

篇六：英语幽默小故事

One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal.“Husbands are like wood fires;they go out if left unattened.”

“Does that mean,” asked the other, “that they make ashes of themselves?”

一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”

“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”

篇七：英语幽默小故事

A naval officer fell overboard.He was rescued by a deck hand.The officer asked how he could reward him.“The best way, sir,” said the deck hand, “is to say nothing about it.If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in.”

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

篇八：英语幽默小故事

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world.The fairy waved her hand, and Boom!She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband's turn.He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom!He was ninety.一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“��!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”

仙女拾起了魔术棒。“��!”他变成了90岁。

篇九：英语幽默小故事

Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university.However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.“He's a good boy,” said Jack's father, “and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”

“No, no, that's quite impossible,” replied the professor immediately.“Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!”

“Please, sir, give him another chance,” said Jack's father.“You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill.”

杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”

“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”

“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

篇十：英语幽默小故事

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18.So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too.This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.“How old are you?” he said.“Eighteen, sir,” said John.“But your brother was eighteen, too,” said the doctor.“Are you twins?”

“Oh, no, sir,” said John, and his face went red.“My brother is five months older than I am.”

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查，这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

篇十一：英语幽默小故事

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend.“Shall I engrave her name on it?” the jeweler asked.The customer thought for a moment, and then said, “No-engrave it 'To my one and only love‘。That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again.”

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不――在上面刻’给我唯一的爱‘。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

篇十二：英语幽默小故事

Put Down My Shepherd Dog

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of

sheep.He tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over;it's a big flock so he takes the bet.“973,” says the man.The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.The shepherd says, “OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.Wait, cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even.Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure.“You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ,” says the shepherd.“Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right!But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

Well, says the shepherd, “put down my shepherd dog and I will tell you.”

放下我的牧羊犬

有人在乡间小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群绵羊，他对牧羊人说：“我和你打赌，如果我猜中这群羊的数目，我得你一只羊，如猜错，你得我100元。”牧羊人想了一会，认为这一大群羊可不好数，于是欣然接受。“一共973只。”此人脱口说道。牧羊人听后大为惊奇，因为数目的确不错。牧羊人说道：“我是个言而有信的人，拿走一只吧。”于是，此人抱起一只就想离开。

“等等，”牧羊人急忙喊道，“给我一个扳平的机会吧。如果我猜对你的职业的话，你就空手走人，我要是猜错的话，你就再带走一只。”此人欣然同意。“你是一位数量经济学家，在政府智囊机构工作。”牧羊人说道。“太神奇啦!”此人应声说道，“完全正确!可是请告诉我你是如何推论出来的呢?”

“好吧，”牧羊人说道，“先把我的牧羊犬放下来我再告诉你。”

篇十三：英语幽默小故事

Funny Words from Economists(Part One)

Economic statistics are like a bikini, what they reveal is important, what they conceal is vital.—Sir Frank Holmes

I'd rather be vaguely right than【1】 precisely wrong.—J.M.Keynes

Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion.—Peter Kennedy

When an economist says the evidence is “mixed”, he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.—Richard Thaler

Theories are testable where they are least needed, and are not testable where they are most needed.—Charles M

——凯恩斯

anski

In the long run 【2】 , we are all dead.—J.M.Keynes

经济学家妙语(一)

经济统计数据就像比基尼，暴露出的那部分固然重要，但没暴露出的那部分才要命。

——弗兰克·霍姆斯爵士

我宁愿稀里糊涂地正确，也不愿明明白白地错误。

——凯恩斯

计量经济学就是在未经证实的假设与预料中的结论之间画曲线的艺术。

——彼得·肯尼迪

当经济学家说证据“混乱”的时候，他或她指的是，理论是一回事而数据是另外一回事。

——理查德·泰勒

理论在最不需要的地方是可验证的，在最需要的地方却得不到验证。

——查尔斯·曼斯基

长期而言，我们都死了。

篇十四：英语幽默小故事

It All Depends

The mathematician's child and the economist's child were in the third grade together, and one day the teacher asked, “If one man with one shovel can dig a ditch in ten days, how long would it take ten men with ten shovels to dig the same ditch?” Both children raised their hands.The teacher said to the mathematician's child, “Johnny , how long?” and little Johnny said, “One day, teacher.”

The teacher looked at the economist's child and said, “John Maynard, is that right?”

Little John Maynard said, “Teacher, it all depends.”

要看情况而定

经济学家的儿子和数学家的儿子是三年级同班同学。一天，老师提出这样的问题：“如果一个人用一把铁锹在10天内挖出一条水渠，那么请问10个人拿10把铁锹，需要多少天才能挖好同样的一条水渠?”两人都举起了手。

老师问数学家的儿子：“约翰尼，需要几天?”小约翰尼答道：“老师，一天。”

老师看着经济学家的儿子，问道：“约翰·梅纳德，他说得对吗?”

小约翰·梅纳德说道：“老师，那要看情况而定。”

篇十五：英语幽默小故事

Einstein's Question

When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates.To pass the time , he asked what were their IQs.The first replied 190.“Wonderful,” exclaimed Einstein, “We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity.” The second answered 150.“Good,” said Einstein, “I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace.” The third New Zealander mumbled 50.Einstein paused, and then asked, “So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?”(Adapted from The Economist, June 13th 1992, p.71)

爱因斯坦的困惑

爱因斯坦升天后在天国之门的外面遇到了三个排队的新西兰人。为了打发时间，爱因斯坦就问他们智商有多高。第一个回答说190。“太棒了，”爱因斯坦惊呼道，“我们可以讨论欧内斯特·卢瑟福对原子物理学的贡献以及我的广义相对论了。”第二个回答说150。“不错，”爱因斯坦说，“我期待着和你讨论新西兰的无核立法对世界和平的作用。”第三个人咕哝着说是50。爱因斯坦停顿了一下，然后问道：“那么阁下预测一下明年政府的预算赤字是多少呢?”(改编自1992年6月13日的《济学人》第71页的文章)

篇十六：英语幽默小故事

Where Am I?

A man takes a hot air balloon ride

at a local country fair.A fierce wind suddenly picks up, causing the balloon to violently leave the fair and carry its occupant out into the countryside.The man has no idea where he is, so he brings the balloon down to five meters above ground and asks a passing wanderer, “Excuse me, sir, could you tell me where I am?”

Eyeing the man in the balloon the passer-by says, “You are in a red balloon, five meters above ground.”

The balloon's unhappy resident replies, “You must be an economist.”

How could you possibly know that? asks the passer-by.Because your answer is technically correct but absolutely useless, and the fact is I am still lost.Then you must be in management, replies the passer-by.That's right!How did you know?

You have such a good view from where you are, and yet you don't know where you are and you don't know where you are going.The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now your problem is somehow my fault!

我在哪?

一人在某地区的乡村博览会上乘坐热气球玩。突然一阵狂风刮来，热气球被吹到了一个远离博览会的地方，把这个人带到了乡间。他不知道自己身在何处，因此把热气球降到了距离地面五米的地方，询问一个路人：“打搅一下，先生，可否告诉我我在哪里?”

路人看了看坐在热气球里的这个人后答道：“你在地面之上五米处的一只红色热气球里。”

热气球里的人很不高兴：“你肯定是位经济学家。”

“你怎么知道?”路人问道。

“因为你给出的这个答案技术上完全正确，但是毫无用处，没有改变我迷路的事实。”

“如此说来你一定是位管理人员喽?”路人回敬了一句。

“一点不错!你怎么知道的呢?”

“你在上面的视野那么好，但是不知道自己在哪里，也不知道自己要向哪里去。事实是，你现在的位置和我们相遇之前的位置完全一样，但是你却把你的问题归咎在我身上。”

篇十七：英语幽默小故事

Economist Poem

If you do some acrobatics

with a little mathematics

it will take you far along.If your idea's not defensible

don't make it comprehensible

or folks will find you out ,and your work will draw attention

if you only fail to mention

what the whole thing is about.If an economist you will be,you must talk of GNP

and of elasticity,of rates of substitution,of the other propensity,and marginal this, and marginal that.经济学家之歌

如果你在玩花样的时候

用上一点点数学，它将让你显得高深莫测。

如果你的想法不是无懈可击

那就让它若即若离，不然人们会揭穿你的老底;

你的工作将会引起世人的注意，只要你没有提及

你的葫芦里到底卖的是什么狗皮。

假如你想在将来成为一名经济学家，你就必须谈论国民生产总值

以及弹性系数，必须谈论替代率，谈论其他倾向

以及各种边际。

篇十八：英语幽默小故事

Where Did the Chaos Come from?

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God's

real profession.The philosopher said, “Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live.” “Ridiculous!” said the biologist, “Before that, God created man and woman and all living things, so clearly he was a biologist.” “Wrong,” said the architect, “Before that, he created the heavens and the earth.Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!So clearly he was an architect.” “Well,” said the economist, “where do you think the chaos came from?”

混乱来自何方?

经济学家、哲学家、生物学家和建筑师讨论上帝的真正职业是什么。哲学家说：“首先，上帝是位哲学家，因为他为世人定下了做人的标准。”“多可笑!”生物学家不以为然地说道，“在那之前上帝就创造出了男人、女人和世间众生，因此很显然他是位生物学家。”“错!”建筑师说道，“在那之前上帝创造出了天和地。而在他造出地球之前，世界完全被混乱和混沌所笼罩，因此他是位建筑师。”“那么，”经济学家不慌不忙地说道，“你们认为这些混乱又是谁制造的呢?”

篇十九：英语幽默小故事

What Do Two Plus Two Equal?

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.The interviewer

calls in the mathematician and asks, “What do two plus two equal?”

The mathematician replies, “Four.” The interviewer asks, “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says, “On average , four—give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up , locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, “What do you want it to equal?”

2加2等于几?

一位数学家、一位会计师和一位经济学家申请同一份工作。面试官先把数学家叫进了办公室问道：“2加2等于几?”

“等于4。”数学家答道。面试官继续问：“不多不少恰好等于4吗?”数学家感到不可思议，看着面试官答道：“没错啊，就等于4。”

接着，面试官把会计师叫了进来，问了相同的问题：“2加2等于几?”

“通常等于4，但上下有10%的浮动，不过通常等于4。”

最后，面试官把经济学家叫了进来，问了相同的问题：“2加2等于几?”只见经济学家站了起来，关上门，拉上了窗帘，然后坐到面试官旁边，低声问道：“你想让它等于几?”

篇二十：英语幽默小故事

Funny Words from Economists(Part Three)

If you torture the data long enough, Nature will confess.—Ronald Coase

Any observed statistical regularity will tend to【1】 collapse once pressure is placed upon it for control purposes.—Charles Goodhart

Time series regression studies give no sign of converging toward the truth.—Phillip Cagan

Given the choice between Bob Solow and an econometric model to make forecasts, I'd choose Bob Solow;but I'd rather have Bob Solow with an econometric model, than Bob Solow without one.—Paul Samuelson

Keep in mind 【2】 the three most important aspects of real data analysis: compromise, compromise, and compromise.—Edward Learner

经济学家妙语(三)

如果你长时间“折磨”数据，造物主也会“坦白”的。

——罗纳德·科斯

一旦承受被别人操控之压力，任何观察到的统计规律都往往溃不成军。

——查尔斯·古德哈特

时间序列回归分析并没有显示向真理收敛的迹象。

——菲利普·卡甘

如果让我在鲍勃·索洛和计量经济学模型之间进行选择以对经济作出预测，我愿意选择鲍勃·索洛;不过我更愿意选择一个有计量经济学模型的鲍勃·索洛，而不是一个两手空空的鲍勃·索洛。

——保罗·萨缪尔森

记住关于实际数据分析的最重要的三个方面：妥协、妥协、再妥协。

——爱德华·利默

篇二十一：英语幽默小故事

Funny Words from Economists(Part Four)

The four golden rules【1】 of econometrics:

1.Think brilliantly,2.Be infinitely creative,3.Be outstandingly lucky,4.Otherwise, stick to being a theorist.—David Hendry

A good empirical study requires three components:

1.A concise and sensible theoretical framework that is related to 【2】 the questions to be asked,2.Reasonably 【3】 good data, and

3.An experiment or an event or a set of circumstances that give the data a chance to answer the questions asked.In short 【4】 , the model needs to be identifiable from the data at hand.—Zvi Griliches

The purpose of studying economics is not to acquire a set of ready-made answers to economic questions, but to learn how to avoid being deceived by economists.—Joan Robinson

经济学家妙语(四)

计量经济学家的四条黄金法则：

一、机智地思考;

二、无限地创造;

三、相当地幸运;

四、否则，还是去当一名理论经济学家吧。

—大卫·亨德里

一项好的实证研究需要以下三个要素：

一、简洁合理且与问题密切相关的理论框架;

二、相当好的数据;

三、一次实验或一个事件或一系列环境，让数据碰巧给出问题的答案。

简言之，我们需要用手上的数据对模型进行验证。

—兹维·格里利克斯

学习经济学不是为了获得经济问题的一系列现成答案，而是为了学会如何避免被经济学家蒙骗。

—琼·罗宾逊

篇二十二：英语幽默小故事

Funny Words from Economists(Part Two)

Mathematics has no symbols for confused ideas.—George Stigler

All models are wrong but some are useful.—George Box

Far better an approximate answer to the right question, which is often vague, than an exact answer to the wrong question, which can always be made precise.—J.Tukey

In the long run, there's just another short run.—Abba Lerner

Someone once said about partisan analysts that they use economic data the way a drunkard uses a lamppost: for support rather than illumination.Or as Disraeli put it, there are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.—Paul Krugman

经济学家妙语(二)

在思想混乱的地方数学符号无用武之地。

——乔治·斯蒂格勒

所有模型都是错误的，不过有些是有用的。

——乔治·博克斯

对正确问题的近似答案要远远好过对错误问题的精确答案，前者常常是含糊的，而后者则往往是精确的。

——约翰·图基

长期而言，只存在着另外一个短期。

——阿巴·勒纳

有人曾说，有党派立场的分析员使用经济数据的方式，就和醉汉使用路灯柱的方式一样：目的是为了获得支持而不是阐明问题。或者正如迪斯雷利说的那样，只有三类谎言：谎言、无耻的谎言以及统计数字。

篇二十三：英语幽默小故事

Q: What's brown and grey and if it fell out of a tree could kill you?

A: An econ【1】 textbook.Q: What's the difference between an economist and a Haitian deportation officer?

A: One diminishes returns, one returns Dominicans.Q: Why is economic advice so cheap?

A: Because supply always exceeds demand.Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None.If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?

A: To prove they have a sense of humour 【2】.问与答

问：什么东西棕色和灰色相间，并且从树上掉下来会砸死人?

答：经济学教科书。

问：经济学家和海地递解官员的区别是什么?

答：一个递减收益，一个递解多米尼加人。

问：为什么经济学家的建议如此廉价?

答：因为供给往往超过需求。

问：更换一只灯泡需要多少个芝加哥学派经济学家?

答：一个都不要。如果灯泡需要改变的话，市场会搞定。

问：为什么经济学家们向我们提供的通货膨胀估计数据会精确到千分位?

答：为了证明他们有幽默感呗。

篇二十四：英语幽默小故事

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion.On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, “Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?”

Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, “So, you want to switch seats?”

篇二十五：英语幽默小故事

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world.One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed.First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that.She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

篇二十六：英语幽默小故事

Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that.Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.

篇二十七：英语幽默小故事

Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.Easy, Mum.replied Amos, I sold the television!

篇二十八：英语幽默小故事

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, “Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.Don't trust dreams, dear.It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite.” Mother replied.“Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight,” Tom said.

篇二十九：英语幽默小故事

My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on.He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。

After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。

He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped.“My mother's coming.”

趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”

篇三十：英语幽默小故事

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.一个女孩去拜访她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀?”

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。

Her friend said, ”Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”

“HELLLOOOOOOO...” answered the blonde.“They're watch dogs!”

“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”

篇三十一：英语幽默小故事

Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics

Economists are armed and dangerous: “Watch out for our invisible hands.”

Economists can supply it on demand.You can talk about money without ever having to make any.You get to say “trickle down” with a straight face.Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.If you rearrange the letters in “ECONOMICS”, you get “COMIC NOSE”.Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.学习经济学的九大理由

经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”

经济学家们能够做到有求必应。

你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。

你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。

米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。

站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。

假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。

伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。

喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。

篇三十二：英语幽默小故事

Nobel Prize in Economics

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things.Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)

诺贝尔经济学奖

两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。

或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。

(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)

篇三十三：英语幽默小故事

Too Much Pressure

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.压力太大

多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有2.37亿人口。其中1.04亿已经退休了。还剩下1.33亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有18.8万人生病住院，现在只剩下121.2万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。

篇三十四：英语趣味幽默小故事

英语幽默小故事：Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, “Gigantic Sale!” and “Super Bargains!”

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, “Prices Slashed!” and “Fantastic Discounts!”

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, “ENTRANCE”.幽默故事翻译：中间战术

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

英语幽默小故事：Very Pleased to Meet You

During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army.Joan Phillips was one of them.She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance.He said to her, “I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, “I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.”

“Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here,” the matron said.“Oh, that‘s all right,” answered Joan.“I‘m his sister.”

“I‘m very pleased to meet you,” the matron said, “I‘m his mother!”

幽默故事翻译：

在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。

后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。

琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”

“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。

“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”

“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”

英语幽默小故事：Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp.The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill.George said, “have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?”

Bill said, “Yes, I have,” and he gave them to him.Then George said, “Now I haven‘t got a pen.” Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter.Then he put it in the envelope and said, “have you got a stamp, Bill?” Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, “Are you going out?”

Bill Said, “Yes, I am,” and he opened the door.George said, “Please put my letter in the box in the office, and...” He stopped.“What do you want now?” Bill said to him.George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, “What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?”

幽默故事翻译：

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

英语幽默小故事：Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18.So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too.This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.“How old are you?” he said.“Eighteen, sir,” said John.“But your brother was eighteen, too,” said the doctor.“Are you twins?”

“Oh, no, sir,” said John, and his face went red.“My brother is five months older than I am.”

幽默故事翻译：五个月大

第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

“你多大了?”军医问。

“十八，长官。”约翰说。

“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”

约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

篇三十五：趣味幽默英语小笑话

趣味幽默英语小笑话：没把头发全剪掉啊

Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut.But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time.While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。

“Hello, Miles,” the manager said.“I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.”

“你好，麦尔斯，”经理说。“我看到你在上班时间理发了。”

“Yes, sir, I am,” admitted Miles calmly.“You see, sir, it grows in office time.”

“是的，先生。正是这样。”麦尔斯平静地承认了。“可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。”

“Not all of it,” said the manager at once.“Some of it grows in your own time.”

“不全都是吧，”经理立刻说，“有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。”

“Yes, sir, that's quite true.” Answered Miles politely, “but I'm not having it all cut off.”

“对呀，先生，你说得很对。”麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，“但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。”

趣味幽默英语小笑话：以“命”抵命

The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty.In order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth.As a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.英国作家理查德・萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚几个钱，他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本，萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术，他才又恢复了健康。

After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it.The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again.But still no money came.Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money.Inthe end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you owe your life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”

过了一两个星期之后，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后，他又送来帐单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说：“你明白，你是欠我一条命的，我希望你有所报答。”

“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will givemy life to you.”

“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答，我将把我的命给你。”

With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.说着这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德・萨维奇的一生》。

篇三十六：初中英语小故事_英语幽默小故事

All In the family 都在这一家

All In the family

都在这一家

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school.八十岁大的 莎莉从学校把她的成绩报告卡带回家。

Her marks were good mostly.她的成绩不错，A's and a couple of B'S.大部分都是A，还有几个B。

However ,her teacher had written across the bottom,可是，她韵老师在卡片下方写道：

“SALLY is a smart little girl,but she has one fault,“莎莉是个聪明的小女孩，但是她有一个毛病。

she talks too much in school.I have an idea I am going to try,她在学校太爱讲话。我有一个想法我要来试试看，which I think may break her of the bad habit.”

我认为.这个想法可能会让她改掉这个坏习惯。”

Sally's dad signed her report card,莎莉的爸爸签了她的学习报告卡，putting a note on the back ,并在卡片背面注记：

“Please let me know if your idea work on SALLY

“如果你的想法对莎莉很有效，请你让我知道，because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

因为我想要把它试用在她妈妈身上。

篇三十七：初中英语小故事_英语幽默小故事

man&satyr

a man and a satyr having struck up an acquaintance, sat down together to eat.the dabeing wintrand cold, the man put hifingerto himouse and blew opon the “what'that for, mfriend?” asked the satyr.“ mhandare so cold,” said the man, “i do it to warm the” in a little while some hot food waplaced before them, and the man, raising the dish to himouse, again blew opon it.“and what'the meaning of that, now?” said the satyr.“oh,” replied the man, “mporridge iso hot, i do it to cool it.” “nay, then,” said the satyr, “from thimoment i renounce your friendship, for i will have nothing to do with one who blowhot and cold with the same mouse.”

人与赛特 一个人与赛特偶然相识，坐在一起吃东西。正值冬季，天气很冷，那人把手放在嘴边哈气。赛特问道“我的朋友，那是干吗?”这人说“我的手太冷了，这是为了取暖”。过了一会儿，热腾腾的食物端上来了，那人把碟子举到嘴边又吹了起来，赛特问“这又是干吗?”，那人说“哦，我的粥太烫了，我把他吹凉些”。赛特说“从现在起，我要与你绝交，因为我不想和一个反复无常的人做朋友”。

[初中英语小故事_英语幽默小故事]

篇三十八：英语幽默哲理小故事

英语幽默哲理小故事

父子二人经过五星级饭店门口，看到一辆十分豪华的进口轿车。

儿子不屑地对他的父亲说：「坐这种车的人，肚子里一定没有学问!」

父亲则轻描淡写地回答：说这种话的人，口袋里一定没有钱

(注：你对事情的看法，是不是也反映出你内心真正的态度?)

After his father five-star hotel door and saw a very luxury imported cars.Son of disdain for his father, said: “The people who take such a vehicle, necessarily Moyouxuewen stomach!”

Father answered lightly: say such things, certainly no money pocket

(Note: Your view of things, is not it also reflects the real attitude of your heart?)

Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,“no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen.”

“Pless ,say it again.Let me take it down.”the mouse said.“I will tell a flea what I know.”

为我所用

一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的'最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,“School-Go slow”.老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着“学校----慢行”.(只为成功找方法，不为失败找理由)

篇三十九：一分钟英语幽默小故事

Many ages had now passed away since the Phoenix had been seen in the world.At last he again appeared.Immediately al the different kinds of animals, both birds and beasts, flocked around him.Astonished at his beauty, they stared and admired, and broke out into great praise.But in a short time, the wisest and most prudent(谨慎的)amongst them began to look upon him with an eye of compassion, and they sighed,“O unhappy phoenix!Fate has been hard to him.He has neither mate nor friend.He will never know the pleasure of loving, or of being loved.”

篇四十：一分钟英语幽默小故事

Christmas was coming.Mr Smith had no money to buy any presents for his children.His wife was ill and he spent a lot of money on her medicine.And the harvest was bad and all his family were going go be hungry the next spring.He was quite worried about it.“We had only a cock ,”said Mrs Smith one day.“You’d better take it to the town.Sell it there and buy some cakes and sweets for our children.”

“It’s a good idea!”the man said and caught the cock the next morning and put it into a box.It was difficult to walk on the road covered with thick snow.Two hours later he was very tied and wanted to have a rest.He put the box to the ground and sat down.“The air in the box must be close ,”the man said to himself.“I’d better let the cock walk outside for a while ,or it’ll die.”

So he put the cock to the ground.When he started again ,he couldn’t catch it any longer.“How foolish you are!”Mr Smith called out angrily.“You can herald the break of day at night but you cann’t find the way to the town in the daytime!”

篇四十一：幽默英语经典小笑话带翻译

My husband was showing a box of his baby things，which had been saved for him by his mother to our five-year-old son.He took out a pair of bronzed baby shoes

mounted with an ashtray between them.”Oh, look,Chris,“he said.”These are Daddy's first walking shoes.“

一次，我丈夫拿出一个盒子给我们五岁的儿子看。这个盒子是由他母亲替他收藏的他儿时的用品盒。我丈夫从盒子里取出一双中间还夹有烟缸的古铜色的童鞋说:“噢，克瑞斯，你看，这就是爸爸学走步时穿的鞋。”

Chris stared in amazement.“Daddy,”he said，”I don't see how you ever learned to walk with that ashtray stuck between your feet.”

克瑞斯吃惊地望着那双鞋，“爸爸，”他说:“我怎么就不知道你还学过两脚夹烟灰缸走路呢。”

篇四十二：幽默英语经典小笑话带翻译

My mother and I returned to my parent's house late one evening to find my father，my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep.Mom had forgotten her house keys，so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors.We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer.The car-horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house.有一天晚上，我和妈妈回来得很晚。我们发现爸爸、上大学的哥哥、十岁的弟弟都睡觉了。可是妈妈却忘记带钥匙了。于是，我们就大声地叫门。先是在前门叫，然后又跑到后门去叫，到旁门叫，都没动静。我们大声地喊爸爸的名字，按汽车喇叭，邻居都被吵醒了，但是家里仍无人回答。

We drove into town and phoned home, waking Steven.When we got back，he let us in.Dad was in bed，snoring，with the television on.Mom quietly switched it off.没办法，我们只好开车进城，从城里往家打电话，这才叫起了哥哥斯蒂文。回家后，他给我们开了门。爸爸在床上鼾声如雷，电视机开着。妈妈轻轻地把它关上。爸爸立刻醒来。“别关电视，”他说:“我在看呢。”

Dad woke right up.“Don't turn that off,”he said.“I'm watching it!”

篇四十三：幽默英语经典小笑话带翻译

When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day，I was flattered.She was at least 15 years younger than I.在我工作的大楼里有间咖啡馆，那儿的女招待每天见到我都向我打招呼。我因此受宠若惊。要知道她至少要比我小15岁。

One day she waved and beckoned to me.When I strolled over，she asked，“Are you single?”

有一天，她见到我后，朝我招手示意让我过去。于是，我便走了过去。她问我，“你现在是单身吗?”

Why，yes,“I replied，smiling at her broadly.“对，是单身。”我满脸堆笑地说。

” So is my mom，”she said.”Would you like to meet her?“

“我母亲也是，”她说:“你愿意不愿意见见她。”

1.幽默经典小笑话

2.经典幽默小笑话

3.经典儿童小笑话

4.最新职场经典小笑话

5.儿童经典小笑话

6.超经典的精品小笑话

7.冷翻人的经典小笑话

8.八个经典小笑话

9.爆笑的经典小笑话

10.经典的小笑话

篇四十四：英语幽默小故事（带翻译）

故事一：

Warning

Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him.I was careful to call him a few days in advance to ”warn“ him that we would be coming.When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room.”Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?“ I teased.”Are you kidding?“ he replied, ”Why else would I have bothered to clean?“

提醒

我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧?”我取笑他。

“开什么玩笑?“，他回答说，“